- Do you have conflict
in your meetings?
- Are there people in
your workplace who are in conflict?
- Are there people in
your workplace who back-stab or undermine each other?
- Is this all being
done in the name of politics?
In this article we will
explore a common situation in many organizations and how your behaviour in and
out of meetings can be used to solve this problem.
Politics
For our purposes let's
define politics as the act of being committed to and going for a goal. The potential
for conflict arises when people have different goals they are going for, such
as:
- they have a different
vision and strategy for where the company or group should be headed
- they have different goals
that compete for the same resources
- People are competing
for promotions, money and recognition within or outside of the
organization.
Having diverse viewpoints
is only natural, so why does "politics" get labelled as bad? This stems predominantly from the level of attachment
to perspectives or agendas and because many of us are poor communicators. Those who have dominating personality styles
tend to communicate their ideas forcefully and those who are more reserved sit
back and listen and share their points of view quietly.
Problems typically arise
when there are a couple of dominant people in a meeting with opposing goals and
they are emotionally charged. Add some
poor communication skills like not really hearing what the other person has to
say and speaking before others have finished speaking. You probably have other examples to add. We see and hear the behaviour of the
speakers, but we don't know what emotional buttons are being pushed on the
inside, in both the dominant speakers and the more reserved people. We now have conflict in the room.
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MEETING SURVEY NOW...
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are your meetings?
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evaluate your meeting effectiveness. Print the survey and complete for
yourself and then post your answers on line. Come back and check out
how your team compares to other teams and notice where the biggest
challenges are.
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Meeting
Effectiveness Survey: Online Document
Effective Meetings
Our speakers
in this example are exhibiting the behaviours of points #5 and #10 from the
Effective Meeting Survey.
- #5 One or two
members dominate the meeting.
- #10 People start to
disagree with others before they really understand what's being said.
At this point there are
likely a whole variety of emotional reactions taking place. The speakers may have become frustrated and
angry in their heated debate. If they
are passionate about their opposing goals they are likely trying to force an
outcome and are ignoring each other's perspectives. Others in the room may be feeling anxiety
with the tone of the conversation, which causes them to shut down and withhold
their perspectives for fear of being rejected.
It is safer not to enter into the turmoil and to keep quiet. The meeting
continues and often no clear outcome is achieved. At best the topic is tabled
for further research and discussion.
Back-stabbing
This sets up a ripe field
for the negative aspects of the "politics" and can be seen from the following
points in the meeting effectiveness survey:
- #11 Following
meetings, there are post-mortems behind closed doors about what really
went on.
- #18 There is seldom
any checking to see whether the group has gone off track, or if the
meeting is an effective
use of time.
Let's consider for a
moment what the range of emotions might be among the group. One of the speakers might be feeling some
triumph and eagerness, others frustration and exasperation and still others
relief that the uneasiness and tension within the meeting is over.
Where is the post-mortem
of the meeting held? The meeting review
is conducted in the hallways, the bathroom and at coffee. This is where the real conversation takes
place. This is where opponents start to
line up their supporters for the next round and say less than impeccable things
about the other speaker and their goal. This can spiral into a contagious
negative environment that no one really wants to be a part of, but can't figure
out why it exists. As stated in a recent comment I came across; "There are days
when I hear my friends' stories of corporate politics and back-stabbing.... I
wonder... why do people have to play that way?"
There are a couple of
ways to change the game. They include improving the meeting structure and
changing your personal game.
Improving the Meeting Structure
- Is there a clear
objective for the meeting?
- As the chair could
you manage the communication in the room more effectively?
- At the end of every
meeting do a meeting check in to find out what went well and what could be
improved.
- Everyone speak your
truth.
Shifting who you are Being
You can check my blog post back-stabbing-at-work to see who I was being 10 years ago when I
worked in the corporate environment and got hooked by my Ego. What would you like to share about yourself
or your workplace? Add your comments.
I didn't have the
relationships I wanted nor was I getting the results that I wanted so I decided
to change. First I learned how to manage myself differently, in the corporate
world this is referred to as emotional intelligence, second I removed many of my emotional
hot buttons.
Things that I
learned to manage were:
- To be quiet and listen to other people's ideas completely before
speaking
- To ask
questions about someone's idea to gain further insight
- To not
speak when I am emotionally upset
- To be
impeccable, when someone is gossiping about another, to decline to listen
to the conversation
- To be
impeccable, only speak positively about others.
This is a constant
practice for me, because my ego has been very well conditioned to "being
right."
Buttons that I have been
removing:
- The need to be right
- Ignoring other
people's perspectives
- Fear of not being
accepted
- Being judgemental of
others
With these emotional hot
buttons removed there has been a lot less to constantly manage, for which I am
grateful.
Changing the negative
aspects of politics in the work place comes down to being willing to be someone
who communicates effectively and willing to be impeccable by not speaking
negatively or listening to others who speak negatively.
Wishing you a healthy
back,
Jacque
